Fernando? LOL I am only on my second glass of chardonnay and well, you can see the results, kind of. Woo Hoo! Also, watching Sense8. Up to episode 8. Started watching it before, didn’t care for the violence, but decided to try again. Weird show, but grabs you. Hope it doesn’t turn out like LOST, which ended up a pile of crap. I remember a friend and I discussing, when we saw the polar bear, that we hoped they knew where they were going with it, but clearly, they did not have a clue. That and Battlestar Galactic had the most disappointing endings of any shows I’ve ever seen, I think.
So doing very well, considering. Actually keeping up with dishes without using the dishwasher, cooking a bit here and there, it’s all good, relatively speaking. Would like to get out more, but I always talk myself out of it. Not looking forward to surgery, because a. don’t want to have to do the whole ‘clean yourself out with this really delish drink (NOT) and hours on the toilet’ thing, cause that really sucked, and b. the possibility of death, if surgery can’t fix it. Death is not a good thing. Being positive, however. Have decided that dying is just not going to happen.
Realized, in conjuction, how truly alone I am. I really have no one. I don’t even have anyone to be my healthcare proxy. Just in case, you know. However, I am one strong bitch. Really. I am. I can deal, all by my lonesome, because that’s what I do, and that’s what I’ve always done. It’s a good thing, being strong. Having resolve. Being pragmatic. It is what it is, and whatever it is, I can handle. I mean, I’ve survived major clinical depression, years of pain and inability to function, losing pretty much everyone I’ve ever cared about, whether through death, or just somehow being removed from my life, or just not wanting to know me anymore, or whatever. I always survive. I am strong. Surprised me all to hell when someone told me, long ago, that I was the strongest person they’d ever met, because I never saw myself like that. I know better now. I fight. It’s what I do. I have my moments, and then something inside says,
‘No. We do not give up. We do not surrender’ I like that about me.
So check out Sense8, if you haven’t already. It will blow your mind.
I really should not have more than one glass of wine, people. Really. Do I look like I care? Didn’t think so.
This is so me. Pockets are crucial. 🙂