I’m Up. I’m Up.

Of course, it’s after 11 am, but hey. Going for a cat scan later. Yay. I am awake, I am awake. My usual morning mantra. Having coffee and checking emails while my brain and body decide if they will work today or not. So just read three what are really click-bait type articles. Experts say you should always/never do this that or the other. What experts. Who made them experts, and I should never buy this plant because these ‘experts’ don’t like to bother with it? What kind of article is that? Then there is the headline. ‘Actor says ‘he has less screen time and gets paid more? No way.’ Read a very long article, at the end of which is this: “Where she is not willing to compromise is on parity of pay with male co-stars. “Now is the time when you say, ‘What’s that? My male colleague is doing a third of the time on screen but is being paid three times more than me? Er, no.” Did the headline not make it sound like the article was about a pay dispute. It was not.

Then there is the hate on social media. God, I am truly disturbed if this is young people, because the level of hatred and vitriol is truly upsetting. They pick a target and have at it. There’s a whole blow-up over British actor Noel Clarke being accused of being a horrible human being, and somehow another actor got dragged into it and he is the one being vilified, and then anyone who does not outright condemn him, and then anyone who is remotely associated with him, then anyone who is remotely associated with anyone remotely associated with him. Noel Clarke got lost in the shuffle. You know, the guy who has actually been accused of serious sexual harassment.

I used to be so unaware of what people are really, truly like in their hearts. I thought that there are a lot of good people, but in general, humanity sucks because all we seem to care about is profit at the expense of every other living thing on the entire planet. But the real hate for one another, the real selfishness and self-centeredness and lack of compassion and empathy and just giving the other guy a break. I didn’t know how bad it really is. I didn’t know how often police are murdering black people. I didn’t know all the horror that goes on every single day, every single place. Am I better off being more informed? Only in the fact that it means I could possibly help to change things, but I don’t know how to do that. I sign petitions and I comment and I write this ranting blog that was meant to be about living with a really shit illness but kind of isn’t anymore, but does any of it matter? I seriously doubt it. Does it help ME in any way. Maybe venting is good for you, I don’t know.

Spring is sprung, I want to come alive again, and my body has turned into a blob and I can barely walk and I have less than zero energy on any given day and the Israeli’s are murdering children and every body hates every body else and the government is hanging on by a thread because the cult of the orange disgrace is going strong and what on earth is WRONG with people? Where is the damn Mother Ship when you need her? Get me off this crap planet. Please. Or come and do some magic and fix things, because I sure cannot.

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