Well, well

I couldn’t think of anything clever for a title.  So I have recovered surprisingly quickly from my melt-down.  I think it has finally sunk in that I don’t actually need to feel guilty when my illness prevents me from doing something someone else wants me to do.  I have issues.  I have explained my issues until they should be engraved on people’s brains, and yet I am still pressured to do, to be, what is expected of me, rather than what I am capable of doing or being.  Finally, I get it.  It’s not about me, it’s about refusing to accept me as I am, rather than the person I am wanted/expected to be.  I feel so much better (up until the point the self-doubt sets in again).  But I realized that I am constantly being judged, and being found wanting, when it is actually beyond my control.  Interesting when you finally get that people aren’t really who you’ve always thought they were, that you have been wearing the proverbial rose-tinted glasses.  So feeling better today.  Thanks for asking.  Wait, did anybody ask?  No?   You know what, I get by just fine on my own, so never mind.  Ooo, maybe I’m feeling just a tiny bit pissy, as well. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. :). Oh, just thought of a title:  Pissy Jean is pissy.  Good, huh?

One thought on “Well, well

  1. Heck, I decided long ago that there’s no point tying myself in knots trying to be what others think I should be. For one thing, you can go mad trying to do THIS and then find someone else who tells you you’re doing it all wrong and should do THAT instead! Meh.

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