I’ve checked it out briefly before now, but am doing it again.  Came across this article, which explained a lot about myself to me.  There’s a bit in it about judging people without really understanding anything about their lives, as well.  But that’s minor.

To DoIt got me thinking about the ways you adapt without realizing when you have a chronic, debilitating illness.  Which I do.  Even before I really understood what was going on, I stopped doing some things, like buying juice, because it’s heavy and takes a lot of strength and energy to get from the store to the car and the car to the frig.  Or having ‘laundry day’.  Wash as you go as long as you are able.  Or doing anything involving stairs, because it hurt and was exhausting.  Or worrying about things that really don’t matter, like are the sheets messed up.  Am I warm enough?  What else matters?  Is the bed made?  Don’t care.  Things we deal with mindlessly become major events when you are ill.  I used to make everything from scratch.  Now I open the box and eat the contents.  Or stick something in the microwave.  Whatever gets me fed with the least amount of time and energy and pain.  All the things I used to think mattered to me, don’t.  It’s very freeing, if at times unbelievably frustrating and disheartening.  You learn to adapt, without even knowing you are.  Don’t know if it’s good or bad, just an observation.  The pain is coming back, so the illness is on my mind.  It was fun having a few weeks of only feeling not great, instead of being in constant pain.  Oh, well.

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