Cracked Me Up

Perhaps Pippa Middleton felt she needed to get out from under her married-up sister’s shadow or maybe she’s always had an urge to create, but whatever the impulse, Middleton cranked out a book full of cooking and entertaining tips entitled “Celebrate: A Year of Festivities for Family and Friends.”

There’s nothing inherently wrong with this. Plenty of people on various tiers of celebrity have written and published books, capitalizing on their fame. The problem was that Middleton’s book was aimed at a very niche audience for which her title would be their first book on entertaining and, quite possibly, their first book ever.

Middleton’s well-meaning but entirely vapid Celebrate offered the following “tips” to would-be celebrators.

For Hallowe’en, how about pumpkin soup served in a hollowed-out pumpkin?

To stop cakes going stale, she advises storing them in something called “an airtight tin”, while hot drinks for picnics should be poured from flasks into “mugs or paper cups”.

Elsewhere, she explains the rules of a game of conkers and the correct way to toast marshmallows over a fire, a process that involves using “a long-handled fork” and “flames”.

Could it be more basic? Why not try roasting a turkey for Christmas or lighting small candles on a cake to celebrate a birthday? Hey, here’s another crazeee idea — what about making pancakes for Pancake Day?

As the reviewer notes, it’s the perfect book for someone who’s misplaced their recipe for ice. This glossy set of sub-common-sense instructions was soon being parodied by @Pippatips on Twitter. As can clearly be seen by the profile, it’s a parody account.

This account was soon dispensing pearls of wisdom on par with Middleton’s book to over 50,000 followers.

if you’re shopping on a budget, try purchasing things that cost less to buy

commuting can be a useful way of travelling between home and work, and even back home again

make it easier for your friends to enjoy TV shows they haven’t watched yet by telling them what happens

enhance the effectiveness of appliances such as dishwashers by actually turning them on

if someone suggests place mats or coasters as a present for someone smile politely and keep looking for something nice.United States v Brazil - Men's Exhibition Game

From Here:Pippa

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