>I Think I’m Losing It

Up all Monday night. Up all day Tuesday. Slept til 4pm Wednesday, then fell asleep on the couch and slept til 7am today. Woke up in pain, as usual, did some stretching, started to cry. I never cry. I don’t know how to do this anymore. I don’t know how to cope with the screwed up sleep, the pain, the inability to do the things I need to do as well as the things I want to do. The just sitting here, living in my cyber-world, because the real world is something I just cannot manage any more. I don’t know how to do this anymore. How to tough it out. How to keep a positive attitude. How to exist in this world of pain and sadness and loneliness. I’ve done it for eleven years, living here in my little box by myself, alone, alone, alone. Just my cat for company. Only rarely going outside. Outside for me is the public main street of my town. Yes, I’m feeling sorry for myself here people. As much as I try not to do that, sometimes my life just overwhelms me with so much I cannot cope with. I don’t know how to do this anymore.

3 thoughts on “>I Think I’m Losing It

  1. >Because I'm reading your post several days after it was posted, I'm hoping you are feeling better. We all have these days. How we come out of this depression is what we look for. Do you belong to Facebook? If so I hope you have found a Fibromyalgia Facebook site. I found it was helpful to read what others are posting and to be able ask for others to give me their input. These woman, and a few men, understand exactly how we are feeling and offer encouragement that we can't get from those who do not have FM. Take lessons from your cat…nap often, then explore where you can. Do you enjoy music where you can go to a free concert? Some towns have noon concerts. I love that! Then I can go home for the afternoon as that is when I start to go downhill. My body hurts more in the afternoon and evening. Big hugs for you. I will post the name of the FM Facebook group…can't remember the name off the top of my head…sound familiar? I can't remember anything!

  2. >Thanks. I am not on Facebook, do I have to be to check the page? I am feeling much better. Just writing about it always helps, but it seems my mental state cycles just like the physical state does. It 'waxes and wanes' as a therapist mentioned once. It's nice to know someone is reading, too. *smile*

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