>Rain and a real post

>It’s a rainy, windy day, and the temp has risen one degree since last night. It’s 61 degrees Fahrenheit. Blanket, sweater, long sleeves. North wind blowing the curtains and pushing the rain against the window. Oh, yeah. This makes me very happy.

Now for a real post, not one with videos or memes. *smile*

I am troubled. I am still circling the drain here. But it’s like there are two of me. One is the happy, ready for fun, laughing at The Glades me. The one who is happy. Then there is the other me. The one who is circling the black hole. The one who wakes up sad and in pain and who feels like crying all the time. I don’t know how I got here. This is what bothers me. There’s no reason for this, I can’t seem to shake it…it’s always there underneath everything…I keep getting tiny flashback memories where I’m there in the moment and I respond out loud. “I didn’t mean…, Why did you…” then in mid sentence I realize I’m having a non-existent conversation with no one. I talk to myself all the time anyway, but this is different. I am talking to someone who is only there in my head, as if I’m there in that moment. It’s kind of worrying. Okay. Now that I’ve put it out there, I feel better. We’ll see how long that lasts.

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