>Last week I was in a funk and completely unmotivated. Then Monday and Tuesday I was on a roll, following my plan successfully. Got up, had orange juice, ellipsed, breakfast, get ready for the day, make coffee and go outside for a bit. Actually, Monday, my friend came over and we went out, so that counted as my outside for the day. Tuesday, I even cooked dinner…a real dinner of fish topped with crumbs and mushrooms, and baked potato. Ran the dishwasher. So much energy. But at the same time, I was exhausted physically. Not sure how to explain how I can have enough energy to chop veg and cook and clean up and at the same time be physically exhausted, but that’s how it is sometimes. Exhaustion causes glitches and brain-fog. Turned on the wrong burner and didn’t realize until the tea kettle was out of water and turning black on the bottom. Flipped a knife onto the couch when I sat down to eat, poorly placed the laptop on the couch to make room on the tray for my dinner and the laptop slid onto the floor right on the side where the power cord connects. Oh, gee, I killed my laptop, after I just started using it again. This is that fibro-fog that causes you to put your glasses in the freezer and the milk in the cupboard. The brain just does not work. When this happens, rest is the only solution. Real rest, lying down with eyes closed. Or a real night’s sleep, the kind that is so rare with fibro/CFS.
So my plan lasted two days in a row. Almost a record for me. One day in a row is usual, but I have had maybe three at some point. By Wednesday, the exhaustion had caught up with me and I was totally useless…barely functional. The rest of the week I have been sleeping way more than usual, or being awake all night. I’d really love it if I could have some semblance of normalcy, normalcy being where I can follow my plan on a regular basis, sleep at night and be awake during the day. But it’s been eleven years since the illness really took hold, so I’m not hoping for normalcy to make a comeback any time soon. I’d really like to get outside every morning, in hope of setting my internal clock to a normal day/night configuration, but boy is that ever hard to accomplish. I’m so foggy in the morning, or whenever I wake up, that usually I get the coffee made and sit in front of the computer. both things that take minimal effort on my part. I’ve also had a headache for the past few days. Does all this count as whining, or just updating my situation? You decide, dear readers. LOL
On the other hand, spring is springing. It’s supposed to be in the fifties the next few days, and sunny. Sunny is good.