>Well, Darn

I was so planning to get to bed early tonight so I could start fresh tomorrow with a PLAN, but here I am still up at 1am. Wanted to get something done tomorrow, after spending the last several days in a funk, still wearing my pajamas all day. My life needs structure. I can’t seem to DO structure. Structure means pressure. Pressure to be up by a certain time, to be in bed by a certain time. I am not good at that. Pressure makes me nervous. Keeps me awake. Causes anxiety, really. Life is so much easier if I just play on the computer and not think about anything. Thinking is pressure. Pressure is not good. Not at all. So I avoid it if at all possible.

I changed the videos. Not just music this time, but still good. I hope.

2 thoughts on “>Well, Darn

  1. >I know exactly how you feel – I find it very stressful following a routine. Even with my kids, I find I push myself just to follow their routines and get them off to school, fed at a certain time, etc. It just causes more anxiety thinking about it! But, going with the flow is not a "bad" thing. I think with being so uncertain about how you will be feeling, it is best to take each day, or hour, one at a time. I absolutely love Loreena McKennit! "Mummer's Dance" is an amazing song. I have the CD with it somewhere – think I am going to go dig it out. Her music is very calming and beautiful. Thanks for posting it!

  2. >I have a couple of her CDs, too. I love her music. You are right about going with the flow, and I do try to do that, but sometimes it gets hard, and I just want to curl up in a corner and say to the world, "Leave me alone". I am expecting a delivery. It is causing me anxiety. Pressure to be presentable, or at least awake, when it comes. It feels silly, but I cannot help having the anxiety. Thanks for the encouragement. It always helps to know someone else understands.

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