>Post From Another Blog

>Here’s a post from a blog I read regularly. It deal with an issue I’ve talked about here before, and am still trying to come to terms with: I am not that me anymore. It hurts, but this post helps.

http://chronicallyme.wordpress.com/2009/11/20/clutter-busting-of-self-image/

2 thoughts on “>Post From Another Blog

  1. I just read the blog from the link above. I really can’t imagine what it must be like to watch “me” leave myself behind and come to terms with the new “you”. I suppose only a person who has gone through a life-changing chronic illness can. Deep thoughts. I struggle to get rid of stuff that I have an emotional attachment to but know I’ll probably never use again, like sports shirts from twenty years ago that don’t fit anymore, they sort of remind me of the game that I attended or enjoyed. My wife likes de-cluttering every now and then and we get stuck on those “emotional” items, like by getting rid of them I would be getting rid of that “me” from back then.

  2. I’ve been ill for fifteen years, and I still sometimes struggle with that. I have a good day, and I think I can do anything. It’s like my brain ‘forgets’ somehow that the ‘can do anything’ day is the anomaly, not all the other ‘can’t do’ days. It’s really hard to accept that you will never do something you loved again. I’ll never have another garden. I’ll never make another holiday dinner. I’ll never…whatever it is. It’s giving up hope, really. Very hard to come to terms with that. You are exactly right, it’s like getting rid of that ‘me’ from before I got this crappy illness. I liked that me. That me had fun, and had a really, really great job, and did things. Lots of things. This me is just here. By myself. Barely able to function more days than not. I don’t like this me. I don’t want to be this me. But this me is all I have, now. I cling to vestiges of hope when it really just makes it harder, I think. I’m trying to learn that better. I still have days where I buy food that I won’t be able to cook, or crafts supplies that I won’t be able to use. I did finally stop with the gardening stuff, though. Not having an outside to work in kind of drives that ‘no longer a gardener’ point home. It is what it is, it seems. Feeling rather negative today, I’m afraid.

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