GOOD EVENING

Where have I been? Recovering, resting, vegging, going out shopping with DD, trying so hard not to be consumed by anger and frustration and avoiding as much bad news as I can. It’s hard, but I have to try. I have saved a bunch of things from instagram and elsewhere to share, but not sure if I should make my blog that negative.

Had a lovely nor’easter yesterday. Wind did blow, rain did bang against the windows. One of my favorite weather events. Even better when it’s snow, but it is almost June you know.

Today I did some research and realized I am taking my meds all wrong, so redid my pill holder and hopeful things will work better now. Also reset my alarms to reflect the life I live, instead of the one I wish I was living. Instead of breakfast at 9, it is now at noon. (Nine am is like the middle of my night.) Dinner at 9pm. I usually am awake until 4 or 5 am at the earliest, some days till 8 or 9 am. So breakfast at 9 is almost never on the cards. I have spent the better part of my life trying to go to bed and get up like ‘normal’ people, but it never works. I can maintain maybe a week, than it gradually regresses back to where I am awake almost all night. Doctor says I have delayed sleep disorder, for which there seems to be no fix. So learn to live with it. You would not believe how many things I have ‘learned to live with’. Example. If I felt as bad as I do every day back before I was gifted all these chronic, debilitating painful illnesses, I would be in the ER constantly. But I have learned to live with them. Sort of.

Right now I am having a ciabatta roll (I have discovered I absolutely love ciabatta bread) with hummus for dinner. And a nice Zinfandel DD brought for me to try. I have lucked out in the kid lottery. My two are absolutely fantastic and amazing. The one who lives here in New England is taking super care of me, driving me where I need to go, taking me shopping, putting the groceries away, rearranging everything to make it easier for me to manage. I think I will keep her. 🙂 The one who lives in New Mexico has a fantastic job where she is loved and appreciated and doing good for others. I am so proud of them both. Wish their dad was still here to see how well they turned out. He would be proud, too. We did good, I think.

Miss G has been way more active lately. I think she was bored to tears, poor baby, but recently more people have been in and out, and she seems to be quite liking that. Here she is recently. Cute kitty is cute. Enjoy your lives, people. You only get one, make it count.

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