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She is reporting this as if it were real news. Where is my mothership? I need to get off this planet before it’s too late.

EDIT: Yes, I know you’ve all already read this, but it occurs to me that I don’t want to give them any more exposure than they’ve got already. My apologies. I was and am appalled, but having slept on it, it just seems a better idea to ignore them.

If you haven’t already read it, you didn’t really miss anything worth thinking about. Seriously.