Here’s The Problem

Well, one of them, anyway. I need to talk to someone. Not sure who, but thought maybe I’d start with my doctor and tell her how I’m feeling and see if there is anything to be done, or talk to the agency and see what are the possibilities of having someone come in to clean and all, because I am getting desperate. Problem is, my brain is not awake enough to have a coherent conversation until late afternoon, when it seems everyone has gone home already.. I cannot go on like this, though, because I am virtually incapable of doing anything physical. Some days I cannot even make the coffee. It’s all read, sleep, maybe stream something for a couple of hours. I do manage to feed the cat and put out fresh water and scoop the litter box. Where is my medal? I take my meds, including things that are supposed to help, like D-3 and magnesium lotion (when I remember), tried eating more and better food. Nothing seems to make any difference. I am just kind of in limbo here, it sems. This is when I shut down more and more, and I know how unhealthy it is, but I really hate feeling helpless and hopeless. I need to do something. I just don’t have any idea what.

One thing I could do, is stop reading my email first thing, because reading the Times and Daily Kos and other newsletters first thing is just too depressing. And don’t even mention Twitter. Bad news, bad news, bad news. I will get myself out of this, I always do eventually, but meanwhile, frustrated Jean is extremely frustrated, and angry at the world.

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